There are many reasons for feeling disconnected from one another, reasons that many seek to understand in psychotherapy. There may have been trauma in the past, be it in childhood or adulthood, leaving you too scared to stick out your head and risk to be injured again. Even when you have merely learned that revealing your true thoughts and feelings is somehow “wrong” and uncomfortable, you may shy away from connecting with others. [read more]
1. Everyone wants happiness in our lives. The more the merrier they say. How does happiness play a big part of our life?
I am glad you ask. Most people think of happiness as “feeling great” and that’s indeed an experience of which we can never get enough. Happiness is much more to me. It’s my answer to all of life’s questions, miracles, and conundrums. Life goes up and down, and I want to be present with everything it brings. [read more]
According to Leo Tolstoy, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” As a clinician I find the same goes for depression, which may be what Tolstoy meant in the first place. We know depression hurts. It’s not good for us to try to function with a low mood as our effectivity is greatly diminished, not to mention our subjective well-being, overall health, and longevity. But what triggers a depression differs very much from person to person. Loss of a loved one, [read more]
I want the best for myself and my family–naturally. Why settle for less? We live in a society of plenty; all we have to do is go for it and ask for exactly what we want, in department stores, restaurants, on the love market, and of course from doctors. An almost inaudible, but powerful voice inside of us may tell us to reach for the best and only for the best.
Is this a good choice though? [read more]
Zen Psychology does not begin with a concept of your self or your problems, but with an open mind. The intervention emerges within the sacred space of kind attention, deep listening, and questioning. When I meet a person who wishes to widen his or her inner space to let go of worry, [read more]
All experiences are mysterious; love is no exception. We cannot accurately reconstruct any experience because too many vivacious variables are involved, however attentive or scientific we go about the reconstruction. Bits and pieces and the whole of life are twirling around, inside out and outside in, firing and dying [read more]
When I was young, I wanted to change in major ways. I wanted to be as thin as my sister, as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe, as creative as Einstein and Picasso combined, as trail-blazing as Madame Curie, as loving as Jesus, as natural as Lao Tzu, and as still as a Buddha statue. [read more]
How “Facing and Embracing” the truth can set you free
I very much enjoyed Jane Isay’s cover story about “Secret and Lies” in Psychology Today. Busy trying to make ourselves feel good or at least give the appearance of feeling good, we do not speak enough [read more]
How to (re-)open your eyes to the magic inherent in ordinary life and love
Zen is not magic, so I am not about to tell you that you have all the power when it comes to your relationship. Even when you are in total peace with yourself or have accepted full responsibility [read more]